my wish is simple - the continued health and happiness of my friends and family.

Keeping with the season, I love to give gifts!  I have to wait till the absolute last second to go Christmas shopping or my family just ends up with all their gifts a month in advance because I can't wait to pass them out!  I smile just as much giving (maybe even more so) as recieving.  Now for those of you thinking AW, how nice that she likes to give - I assure you the motives are purely selfish.  Its my personal drug, to make others smile.

I firmly believe in the value of suffering.  Coming from a negative home environment I can say this from experience.  Had my life not taken certain twists and turns and I had I not endured certain experiences and come out a better person from them, I don't know where I would be today.  Suffering, just like any other life experience, teaches us something about the world and about our selves.

Of course, what person actually wants to see someone suffer, wether it be mental/emotional pain or physical.  Like I've mentioned before, I think that we are given these challenges for a reason, so we can help others either not have to experience what we did or so we are able to truly support people experiencing similar challenges.

I wouldn't change a single experience from my past, not if it would effect the outcome of who I am today!

I guess I've had some psychic experiences.  Every now and then I have dreams of places that I later end up visiting.  Sometimes it happens the day before, sometimes even months before.

My husband and I also have a funny story we like to tell.  When I was preggers with our first son I had really horrible morning sickness and could only stand to eat certain things.  At this point we were still at college, so the cafeteria was no place ya caught me!  Any way, he ran to the store to pick me up some things to eat.  When he asked what I wanted I was just like "oh I don't know, whatever looks good."  Helpful, right?  After he left I started think about what I did want and decided I really desperately wanted bagels!  Being the only two people in the world without cell phones all I could do was send mental messages.  "KEV, pick up bagels and cream cheese!"  (I was shouting in my head!!)  Well when he got back he was the hero of the hour because he had bagels.  When I shared my delight with him he said "I'm happy you like them.  I had this overwhelming feeling before I left the store that you wanted bagels with cream cheese so I ran back in to get them."

My mental messages have not worked since.  Maybe because they are more like "Kev, pick up your clothes" and "Take out the trash without me begging you to."  I think his brain just ignores my brain.

Good to be back!  I've had many family items to attend to the past couple months.  There were many joyous moments and many other moments where I questioned wether or not I was actually related to some of these people by blood.  There have been births of beautiful babies by some friends dear to my heart, a divorce (praise the Lord, we were all waiting...), with the divorce God openned a door to some family members we thought were lost to us all.   I will be seeking advice of friends and family and soon legal cousel as I begin the search for two sisters of mine.  There is a long road before me now with many, many forks.

I set out one day to change the world and realized I first needed to change what was right on my own front porch...