Love and patience!  When I first found out I was going to be a mother I didn't think I would have enough of either one - and now (Thanks be to God!) I find that I have plenty!  If I have one goal in life it is to help others (especially those with children!) to have patience as well.  If people in the world had more patience think of what a better place it would be for our babies!  And remember, even if you don't have babies of blood relation to you, IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD!

My first response (of course, for those of you who have read a bit about me thus far) was going to be children, and after a few moments of reflection I'm not sure that is the right answer.  Maybe I'd be better off saying I want to save people.  After all, abuse babes sometimes grow up to be abusers themselves and on goes the cycle.  I want to save people no matter where they are in life.  Is that too general, wanting to save people?  Honestly, if everyone thought about it who doesn't want to save people, who doesn't dream of a perfect world with no crime, violence and boundary lines and the source of those things - people.  I want to save people and it looks like I'm on a mission to save us from ourselves. 

Oh, and I'm also saving (more like hoarding, really) my grandma's applesauce.  See attached picture for my cute grandma  : )

A couple days ago I started the group Change for Our Children.  I have to admit, I was all fueled up at first...and then I stopped to think about it for a second.  All I could think was "So what now?"

So after doing a bit of reading (alright, I actually did quite a bit, but I'm not sure how much stuck in there!), I think I got some of it figured out!  I have to say a big thanks to all the other mods who have posted tips and suggestions and how tos...I have never been much of a blogger, nor am I very computer savvy.  I can turn it on and check my email (woo!) and when something goes wrong...well I married a computer tech, so I'm good.

Now that I've got some of the housekeeping done, I'm all fueled up and ready to go again!  My big dream is that our little pod will begin to fuel big change and with a little luck and a lot of work - maybe it will.  But I have come to understand that God works in mysterious way, and if this pod inspires just one person and saves just one child I will lay my head down at night happy with the work I've done - I'm sure many of you will as well.

Don't be strangers!

Plato is credited with saying "Necessity is the mother of invention," the definition of invention being the creation of a new device or process. Currently, there is a need for the creation of new processes within the Child Protective Services of this country. As a child who watched her family crumble from physical and emotional abuse, drugs and alcohol and neglect from the system, I wish to dedicate my career in psychology towards creating new programs and policies, with the intention to provide support for children and families in need.

Many families have had experiences with Child Protective Services. Through personal experience, I have realized by the time someone intervenes in a negative family situation it is typically too late, and someone has already experienced some form of abuse. My goal is to implement preventative measures by working closely with families deemed to be high risk, starting at the mothers first prenatal appointment. It is my belief that with proper psychological screening and the appropriate support, the abuse of children can be drastically reduced. Many doctors stress prevention as the key for a laundry list of diseases. As our understanding of the way the human mind functions progress, so will our ability to pin point and prevent abusive behavior.

The first step toward archiving my goals is a bachelors degree in psychology, which will help equip me with the knowledge needed for researching, testing and implementing fresh ideas. Although these dreams of creating a better world for our children are still in their own stages of infancy, they are what drives me forward, and while radical, show promise.


This is an essay I also posted in the pod - Change for Our Children.  I would invite any one interested to stop by and check it out.  I also will use this essay  for the scholarship competition here on Gaia.  If you want to leave me some feed back on ways to improve that would also be great (come on you English teachers - I know you're out there!). 

I think to start with, parts my past are still healing.  Eventually they will scab over and leave scars, which probably is better than having them disappear completely.  My passion for helping others comes from my past.  If I should forget all the pain it caused me I'm afraid that I won't do as good of a job as possible.

So that essay I posed earlier I am using for the scholarship competition here on Gaia and the word requirement is 250 words or less...yea that essay was 271.  It was pure TORTURE taking out 21 words.

But I DID IT, yea for me!

I'm not even sure I'm going to send it, actually.  I know there will be a lot of people to apply, many with dreams for the world that may actually be attainable. 

I know that not many people actually look at my blog...so I can just blab to it then.  Maybe I should keep a journal...

I've never been able to make a difference, anywhere.  I've tried and failed.  I couldn't even save my family.  The idea that I could ban people together for change is nuts.  Normally when I come up with a pretty good idea someone steals it and runs away!  Lol!  I guess with this type of thing I could actually care less.  Does it matter where the idea comes from as long as something gets done with it?

I've always felt like there is something inside me waiting to pop out.  I asked Meenakshi about this.  Turns out I'm not crazy, its just my energy.  Well thats nice.  Now what do I do with it???  (That thought didn't come till a little later - I was happy with the not crazy part for a bit.)

I was reading a thread about how everything starts in our minds and if enough people ban together for a cause they can make it happen.  I'm looking, I'm looking!!  This is a great site, maybe I will plant a seed in enough people.  My problem -

I got this folks, I got this -

my problem is my lack of faith in people.

I feel as if I am not the one to make the change then who will?  The change will come, it has to, wether or not I am the one to do it.  My resolution for the the New Year...aw, hell, now, is that I will have faith in others.

I would like to affirm that despite my past I have a wonderful present and an even more wonderful future!

I also would like to publicly affirm that even though my child has recently decided to eat nothing but Goldfish, chicken tenders and apples I'm still a really great mom, darn it!

Why in the WORLD I thought it would be smart to try and make a cake shaped like a train.  How deep is that, eh?  1:30 in the morning does that to a person.  It will all be worth it tomorrow...

As long as my son realizes its a train!

Pulled over on the side of the road, in the dark, using a flashlight to search my glove box for the map I was POSITIVE I put in there before I left. 

Not to mention looking forward to the nearest rest stop to use the little girls room.

I guess my favorite is scrapbooking...well working with paper in any way really.  Making cards and books and cutting paper for all the shapes and letters I need.  If I'm angry I paint sometimes.  I find it relaxing.  If I'm going to pop with joy I dance.  When I was younger and wanted to be someone else I did theatre.

Its really hard to pick....

There was a t-shirt I saw that put it the best...

Barack my world!

Everyone has different views on what makes something worthwhile.  I think it all boils down to what the outcome is.  Did it make you and others happy, smile, laugh or cry?  Did it bring you or others to a place you wanted or needed to be in life?  At least these are the things I think about.

Like this bday cake I stayed up making till 1:30am.  My son didn't eat any more than the oreo wheels and the M&Ms I used to fill the coal tender.  But he loved it just the same...it was worth every second of my time!

=)

It took me a bit to figure out what was going on but I'm good now!

1) What are you thankful for today?

     As it is the day before my son's second bday, I am thankful for him being alive and healthy.  After all, these kids you know, you have to feed them and water them almost everyday!!  ; )  I'm also thankful for my husband, he is such a wonderful father.  Our boy was a ..ahem...surprise!  And I have just been blessed beyond belief!

2) What do you appreciate about the Earth? 

     Her ability to heal.  I live near Onondaga Lake (google it!).  One of the most polluted lakes in the world.  Recently reports were put out about the lake being ahead of its scheduled clean up by a number of years, and from the amount of pollution it is utterly amazing.  Think of what mother earth could do if we did our part to keep her healthy!

3) Who is the last person you said "thank you" to?

My dear husband, who got up at 2am this morning with our teething 3 month old so I could sleep!

4) When was the last time someone thanked you?

Lol!!!  I have no idea!  I think it may have been the education coordinator of my church because I am organizing a drop and shop for the kids.  But for the most part, being a wife and a mother is a thankless job.  Well, at least in the vocal sense.  I count the smiles, hugs and kisses I get as thank yous!  So in that case I guess I get a lot of them!

5) What is your favorite way to say thank you?

I really love to bake things for people.  Many times people that do something I appreciate end up with cookies and breads, or more recently homemade jarred applesauce!

http://www.brickfish.com/Pages/PhotosAlbums/PhotoView.aspx?picid=679182_76653380&pid=1389514&scid=357&

When you get a second please click and vote!  It is to help me win some money for school.  Don't worry, you don't have to sign up for anything, promise!

I appreciate several remarks I have gotton about using my children's picture online.  Please rest assured that I do not use names, addresses, phone numbers OR current photos.  I don't think you could pick my kid out of a crowd based on this alone.

Thanks very much!

My husband and sons, my siblings, Aunt and cousins, grandparents.  Also a family that I use to live with for a bit.  They are the best thing I've had to a normal family.  I even introduce them to people as Mom and Dad and my kids call them Grandma and Grandpa!  My real father also didn't bother to attend my wedding so it was my "Dad" who gave me away. 

Just goes to show that you don't have to have the same blood to be a real family!  I am blessed beyond belief with the array of people in my life, even though my biological parents have decided not to be part of it.

I found...my drive to make change!  For the longest time I didn't feel like I would ever become someone who would make a difference in the world.  In  way I felt like Moses when God called him.  I was thinking Lord, I can't!  You can find some one better for this!

I have figured out part of what holds me back, and its the fear of what others will think of me.  I would rather hide in the shadows instead of stepping up and saying what needs to be sad, all to avoid what ever negitivity I may encounter.

I remember reading - ages ago - a qoute from somewhere.  "Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of ohers."  Well I did a good job.  I wanted to protect that so much, I folded it up and hid it some where so well that I couldn't find it for myself - let alone show it to other people!