BOTH!  Right now events from my past are going to be directly responsible for what comes in the future..and man...some days it sucks.

I have many mentors! 

~My grandparents for having a loving and successful marriage. 

~Pastor Scott K., who has been with me through the worst and best of times and is always willing to guide without passing judgment. 

~My Aunt, who has a better sense of family than I ever will.

~My junior high librarian Ms. Medvitz, who encouraged me and believed in my success.

~The very young and the very elderly, who in many ways are very much the same.

~My "Mommy and Daddy" Polly and Roger.  Who inspire me day in and day out.  Their marriage, their family.  Their activities together, the way the live life.  If I could be half the mother that Polly is to her babies I would be amazed!

I just recieved this from a close friend.  I couldn't imagine being in this sitituation.  I would ask that all who have a moment say a short prayer and send positive light in the direction of this family.  When we come together anything is possible.


Ladies and Pastor Scott,
> I have a prayer request that I would ask for you to add to your prayer
> lists. Many of you know that I have 8 friends that I have been friends
> with since kindergarten. We get together at least once a year and stay
> in touch with each other throughout the year. We have been through alot
> together in the past 39 years! Our friend, Jen's son, Zachary, is very
> sick. He was in the local hospital and they transfered him to a hospital
> in Springfield, MA for 15 days. He is 6 years old and they can't figure
> out what is wrong with him. He is just getting sicker and sicker. They
> are moving him tomorrow to Children's Hospital in Boston. He has lost
> over 25 pounds, can't walk across the room by himself and is in constant
> pain. He has something wrong with his intestines they think, but aren't
> really sure. Roger, the kids and I had dinner with them at Christmas
> time and he was a normal, crazy, running around 6 year old boy.
>
> There is much more to this story too. Jen also has a 9 year old son and
> she is in the middle of a very messy divorce from an abusive husband. We
> have suported her for years trying to get out of the marriage and she and
> the boys left about a year ago and have been living with her parents.
> Her husband is a creep and that is the nicest thing I can say about him.
> She is having to spend all day, everyday in the hospital room with him
> and their very sick son. Seth, their 9 year old is staying with her
> parents, and in the middle of all this, Jen's mom found out she has
> breast cancer and has had to have surgery.
>
> So anyway, if you could send some prayers their way, I would appreciate
> it. I have been praying like crazy and it is weighing on me. I can't
> imagine having a child that is that sick. I have been calling Jen often,
> but it is hard to be far away and not be able to do much. Thanks ladies
> and PS!
> P.

Good to be back!  I've had many family items to attend to the past couple months.  There were many joyous moments and many other moments where I questioned wether or not I was actually related to some of these people by blood.  There have been births of beautiful babies by some friends dear to my heart, a divorce (praise the Lord, we were all waiting...), with the divorce God openned a door to some family members we thought were lost to us all.   I will be seeking advice of friends and family and soon legal cousel as I begin the search for two sisters of mine.  There is a long road before me now with many, many forks.

I set out one day to change the world and realized I first needed to change what was right on my own front porch...

I guess I've had some psychic experiences.  Every now and then I have dreams of places that I later end up visiting.  Sometimes it happens the day before, sometimes even months before.

My husband and I also have a funny story we like to tell.  When I was preggers with our first son I had really horrible morning sickness and could only stand to eat certain things.  At this point we were still at college, so the cafeteria was no place ya caught me!  Any way, he ran to the store to pick me up some things to eat.  When he asked what I wanted I was just like "oh I don't know, whatever looks good."  Helpful, right?  After he left I started think about what I did want and decided I really desperately wanted bagels!  Being the only two people in the world without cell phones all I could do was send mental messages.  "KEV, pick up bagels and cream cheese!"  (I was shouting in my head!!)  Well when he got back he was the hero of the hour because he had bagels.  When I shared my delight with him he said "I'm happy you like them.  I had this overwhelming feeling before I left the store that you wanted bagels with cream cheese so I ran back in to get them."

My mental messages have not worked since.  Maybe because they are more like "Kev, pick up your clothes" and "Take out the trash without me begging you to."  I think his brain just ignores my brain.

I firmly believe in the value of suffering.  Coming from a negative home environment I can say this from experience.  Had my life not taken certain twists and turns and I had I not endured certain experiences and come out a better person from them, I don't know where I would be today.  Suffering, just like any other life experience, teaches us something about the world and about our selves.

Of course, what person actually wants to see someone suffer, wether it be mental/emotional pain or physical.  Like I've mentioned before, I think that we are given these challenges for a reason, so we can help others either not have to experience what we did or so we are able to truly support people experiencing similar challenges.

I wouldn't change a single experience from my past, not if it would effect the outcome of who I am today!

Keeping with the season, I love to give gifts!  I have to wait till the absolute last second to go Christmas shopping or my family just ends up with all their gifts a month in advance because I can't wait to pass them out!  I smile just as much giving (maybe even more so) as recieving.  Now for those of you thinking AW, how nice that she likes to give - I assure you the motives are purely selfish.  Its my personal drug, to make others smile.

my wish is simple - the continued health and happiness of my friends and family.

Blind date at a Halloween Party!  He was a drunk vampire and I was a very cute Ms. Monroe.

What can you - as an individual - do to have a positive impact on the world?

Before I had children I had simple ideas.  Recycling, turning of the lights and riding my bicycle.  Later I realized this was a somehwhat selfish, fluffed up show for others.  None of what I was doing directly touched another person.  Sure, it helped out with my personal carbon footprint, but I can't say it did much else.

Now, as an older, more informed (I refuse to use the word wiser, because that just isn't true) I realize there is a lot more for me to be doing.  As much as sometimes I would rather not, I'm going to have to "get my hands dirty" and deal with stituations and people that aren't always so pleasant.  This is going to be the most effective way to create change in our world, more direct and invovled rather than passive as I was before.  Its all because of my children, well any ones child, really.  Such a driving force, those beautiful little faces!